As I prepare to reopen for the third time, I again find myself reflecting about my time in lockdown. I’ve done this with each reopening. I’ll be honest, I am an introvert, so being told to stay home was really not a personal sacrifice on my part. As a yogi, I have heard and read stories about ancient and modern day yogi’s spending months in solitude; too deepen their spiritual life. I felt like these months in quarantine have been my time to go into the metaphorical cave and work on my spiritual life!
I have read countless philosophy books, I have spent many hours on my mat and mediation cushion and I have done a few courses. I would never have had this opportunity without this pandemic. Especially because I was a new business owner prior to all of this.
Personally, I am more in touch with who I am than ever before. Right before the first lockdown, I was not in a good space. I was stressed, overwhelmed and really unhappy. Which is sad considering I had just made such a big move in my professional life. In regards to the studio, as I have shared before, out of fear I had turned my business down a road that I wasn’t happy with and one I didn’t really want to go down. Because I was in such a negative headspace, everything was feeling heavy and like it was too much to bare!
The first three months I spent in lockdown, I worked on my physical self. For years, my personal yoga practice was done to inform my teaching. When I stopped teaching, I realised just how many injuries I had. My body was in a lot of pain, my love of big backbends had caught up to me! So, almost everyday I did gentle yoga therapy for myself. I had to work on undoing a lot of bad habits I had in my asana practice. I really wouldn’t have effectively been able to work on healing myself this way, if I was still teaching multiple times a day.
It was also during this first lockdown that I spent the most time in meditation. I was chanting and meditating a couple of times a day. This gave me the opportunity to ground myself. I really needed this after the pent up negativity I was feeling earlier in the year. It was also during this first lockdown that I realised just how much fear of failure I was carrying. By the time this first lockdown was done, I was turning a corner. I was more settled and I was making changes at the studio to turn it in the direction that I wanted it to go!
At first, the second lockdown was the hardest for me. November 2020 was the best month the studio had experienced. Most of the classes were full, people were taking advantage of the services I was offering and I had transitioned the studio on to that road I wanted it to go down. This made it hard to close the doors again! It was during this second time in my home cave, that I took a deep dive into yoga philosophy. I studied and read philosophy almost everyday. I came out of this second lockdown with a deeper understanding of yoga and how to live yoga in every moment! Though this knowledge, I can say I know myself so deeply. I know my heart & I know my strengths like I never have before.
This last lockdown, I have felt all the work I have done in the last year settling in. My husband took a couple of weeks off (he works in an essential business, so he’s worked the whole time). Even though we couldn’t really do more than day trips, it was one of the best holidays we’ve had together.
My heart is so full, I’m following my dreams and my life is full of joy! With the path I was walking down in March of 2020, I don’t think I would be anywhere close to this understanding without these lockdowns. If this is our last time in quarantine, I will look back at this time as formative. If a lockdown happens again, well then I know my time won’t be wasted!
Until next time,
Sandra